Cat Sh%t

Today i felt like taking a walk in my yard. I don't know why. I think the house was becoming too hydrogenated with low-hanging stench and the fresh air was calling to me.

And then i saw my jerk cat following behind me. Most cats are so deviously averse to lowering themselves to human behaviour that he can be considered a freak.

(Remember, if your cat is exhibiting casual human behaviour such as actually being friendly, FREEZE. Don't make eye contact. Slowly back away. Your cat will get over it soon once he realizes that you are inferior to him, and start licking his crotch like normal. Breathe. The danger's over.)

Marcus Aurelias is probably half-retarded. So there is no danger in his abnormal behaviours.

I took his paw and we set off on an amazing adventure in the front yard.

He followed me everywhere. We had loads of quality awesome-time.

We were having a wonderful time. It was today, THIS day, that i truly felt that cats had a heart. That they couldn't seperate from their caring providers of cat food and a place to sleep.

And then quite the thinkable-happened.

Marcus, my beloved feline, had followed me everywhere through the desolate woods, just to find the right footprint of mine to take a dump in.

-Rabid Axolotl

Hamster Jam

Cause we all love retarded hamsters.

Do you regret wishing for me?

Yes.

Poopsies

Just a little quickie... not really satisfied with it but WHUT.

At the groomers the other day... a lady picked up her two precious poodles and flipped out. WEll, yes, they were cut so short that they actually looked pink, but THE DOGS DIDN'T CARE, LADY. She went on like "MY BABIES!!!!! I"M SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and drove away.

Respect this shiznit

Well, i geuss i'll start off with why the heck i made this thing.

ER.EERR.ER. DOT DOT DOT.

Whirr, beep beep, Rabid Axolotl is the name of my comics, yah! Should i tell you what they're about? No! You'll see for yourself. But first off, we all know what an axolotl is, right? Yes. You do. So we all know those cut and paste mouths of theirs house the most vicious and horrid of teeth. But HOW DO WE KNOW WHEN THEY'RE RABID. ALL THE FOAM WASHES OFF THEIR PASTY FACES BECAUSE THEY'RE IN THE WATER.

Darn things are obviously planning something. I'm watching you, axolotl.